Interview with The Enneagram Girl
Meet Erin a.k.a. The Enneagram Girl
The vision and mission of MHOM sparked by deeper relationship and continuous breakthrough in it's truest sense of a global movement has taken on many diverse and unique forms. Erin Conley is one of the many inspiring individuals that have shown us how life changing and empowering it can be to find authenticity in a diverse world. The soon to be mother of triplets took the time chat with our founder, Trina Young. Both ladies engaged in conversations about their mission and about transformation through the Enneagram.
Hi, I'm Erin,
an inquisitive creator and analytical pursuer of understanding. I've long been interested in the inner workings of people and relational dynamics, specifically in regards to wiring, conflict, and misunderstanding between people. Unraveling these concepts is what led to my introduction to the Enneagram about six years ago. Since then, I have found a near-unlimited fount of information (as plentiful as the human condition itself!) to study and understand through the complex, yet satisfyingly logical lens of the Enneagram. This pursuit mainly aims to understand why (not what) we do as individuals, and to become self-aware of our blind spots and sin patterns so that we can grow. I began writing Enneagram Girl basically to preface the topic before posting a photo interview project that I conducted. In that process, I found myself creating info-graphics and receiving quite a bit of feedback from people reading, that my work was helping them. Frankly, I didn't really anticipate that! After loads of encouragement to do so, I finally launched a YouTube channel to complement my blog and the rest has kind of been a blur! It's been amazing to be able to help others increase their understanding of their inner selves (and those of others)-- it's work I really could never tire of.
Trina: What is the best and worst advice you have ever received/ heard/ read?
Erin: The worst advice, I'd say, is "oh, just take this fun test!", or really any sort of aim to utilize the Enneagram in an overly simplistic way. Humans are not simple, therefore Enneagram isn't simple. Unfortunately, there is far more bad advice out there about the Enneagram than is good-- such advice isn't malicious by any means, but simply bad practice and often rooted in stereotypes and a "quick fix" mentality.
The best advice is to study and observe before self-identifying. It's far wiser to wait on self-typing until you have had time to read ("The Wisdom of The Enneagram" is the best jumping off point in my opinion) and digest what each type actually is. I've found for myself and others, that our perception of each of the 9 types is very different when we first begin, then when we have truly understood what each shorthand "number" means.
Trina: How can the enneagram help them change, grow and transform?
Erin: The Enneagram is so effective in helping to facilitate life change and self-awareness because it acknowledges our flawed state as humans! Growing is very hard to do if we won't look in the mirror at our weaknesses, and the Enneagram is excellent in encouraging that. Additionally, knowing why we are doing something, or what is causing negative patterns in our lives really helps us to make changes. Knowing why others are doing things also helps us to understand them on a deeper level that leads away from false judgment and towards understanding. Enneagram helps us to understand in great detail what happens to each of us under stress (depending on our wiring) so that we can spot these patterns ahead and circumvent them.
My favorite proof of this potential for great change is in an amazing organization called The Enneagram Prison Project (EPP). The EPP used this worthy tool to help halt recidivism for incarcerated individuals and assist them in understanding their behaviors so that they can truly put a stop to damaging patterns in their lives. I had the awesome opportunity to actually sit in one of the prison classrooms and witness this, and have to say: the reason these inmates are so successful in utilizing the Enneagram is that they acknowledge their need for growth. In our culture of instant gratification and entitlement, this is rare. Anyone hoping to truly get something out of the Enneagram must first be willing to humble the self, and potentially be made uncomfortable by its content.
Trina: Why is it important to understand yourself and others on a deeper level?
Erin: More and more we live in a culture of instant gratification, entitlement and absence of intrinsic truth. In this kind of culture, we have essentially abandoned the desire to truly understand. Shallow understanding of the self leads only to ignorance and stagnancy. Frankly, without deeper understanding of the self and others, we often live life under totally false assumptions, which gets us nowhere. Positive change hinges on depth of understanding.
Trina: How can the community engage and stay up to date with you?
Erin: Both Email and Instagram are probably the best places to send me a note that I'll get back to soonest-- I also love and value comments on YouTube and tend to be pretty quick in answering questions there as well! I love requests for videos on specific content, and also providing private Enneagram consultations and coaching via Skype!
This great question is especially valid of late, as my husband and I just found out that we are expecting triplets! These next few months I may be a bit harder to reach, but I'll definitely always do my best to respond promptly! :)
Trina: As the Enneagram Girl and MHOM, are very much in the deeper relationship and continuous breakthrough space, what is your encouragement to the community?
Erin: My encouragement to the #myheartonmecommunity would be to seek first to understand and observe before applying labels to self or others. So often when using tools like the Enneagram, we fall into the trap of over-simplifying and not understanding the depth behind the shorthand label. Depth takes time but is so worth it in the end!
Trina: What are your thoughts about a community wondering through life without going deep with personal development?
Erin: True community helps us to grow, even when it's uncomfortable and encourages intimacy in relationship that leads to accountability, honesty, and humility. Any community without personal depth or growth is just a social club.
Trina: Why is a movement that advocates deeper relationship and continuous breakthrough so important in this day and age?
Erin: We need to walk alongside others who are also pursuing emotional health if we hope to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Having a community where we can find accountability, encouragement and challenge is essential. As one of my favorite Jon Foreman songs notes, "a mirror is harder to hold". We may hide our feelings and true inner motivations from ourselves, but those around us can give us truthful feedback that can lead to growth and healing!
Trina: What are your thoughts about the enneagram and mental health awareness/ mental health healing and restoration?
Erin: Mental health is more of a prevalent issue in our culture than ever before. More people are struggling with things like identity, purpose, hopelessness, etc. I personally believe that these struggles are not a form of "sickness" or illness at all, but simply very deep emotional unhealth. Clearly, this is a complex issue, but I believe a lot of this strain has to do with the fact that intrinsic truth has fallen to the wayside and with it, a sense of foundation and hope. This is something that's unique about the Enneagram (compared to other personality and growth systems), in that it acknowledges and is based on intrinsic truth an/or morality, which challenges us to grow. If we deny that the truth of morality is real, then we as humans have very little reason or motivation to grow-- Enneagram points out our moral shortcomings in a way that is constructive. Like giving us a roadmap, it attempts to help us see where we may have taken a wrong turn, and directions to get back to the main road. In my study of the Enneagram, I see a lot of people try to push against its' structure and logical patterns, in an attempt to condone their negative behaviors, because they are used to a culture that says "whatever you choose for yourself if good". True psychology and science knows and proves time and time again that this isn't true-- true moral "good" cannot exist without conditions and universal laws, just like in our natural world. At the end of the day, I think (and have seen) that a lot of "mental health" issues would be remedied if the person affected would simply seek to understand their own hearts, negative motivations and sin patterns. There's a reason that the lowest level of health listed in The Wisdom of the Enneagram for each type, is basically a "mental disorder". I've also witnessed time and time again that a relationship with God is imperative to true healing and recovery of emotional trauma. I do want to end by saying that there are definitely some conditions that are legitimate mental disorders, but I think we have over-applied the term in our current culture.
