Beyond The Buzzword - What Is Self-Care?
You might have heard talks about self-care going around on the internet a lot. At this stage, it often sounds like a buzzword instead of a true intent that we exhibit in our lives. With the number of responsibilities and distractions around us, caring for ourselves naturally fall down our list of important things to do. When push comes to shove and feelings of anxiety, stress, and hopelessness surface, I often find myself suppressing these emotions. Even positive emotions of joy and happiness.
Over the years, I’ve seen the effects of my suppression, on my immunity, my family, and my social life, it never occurred to me that the person that suffers the most from my habit of suppression was myself.
That being said, it was my therapist that helped me greatly in this area of my life where I was unable to help myself or to reach out to friends or family. In my case, self-care looked like treating my mind (specifically in talking through my psychology - inner child wounds, anxiety, worries, fears, ruminations, hurts, unmet needs, …)
From therapy (7 years and counting), I was able to learn that self-care doesn’t look like one thing. It isn’t just about what we see on Instagram or Tiktok. It’s about discovering what we really need at different points of our lives. Sometimes it could look like basic necessities:
Giving our eyes a break
Drinking water throughout the day
Breathing in deep belly-full breaths
Discovering what makes me happy
Other times, when overwhelmed with work, experiencing grief, dealing with friendship issues, midlife crisis, financial issues, heartbreak… We need to relook at how we’ve been treating ourselves. It helps to ask ourselves these questions:
Have I been genuinely happy lately?
Do I know what makes me happy?
When was the last time I felt happy?
What was I doing?
Who was I with?
Why did that moment make me happy?
What is one small step I can take today to help me feel happy?
Depending on our responses to these questions, we can be left feeling dejected and lost. I found myself the same way. And that’s ok. I’ve realised over years of self-neglect and suppression, naturally, I wouldn’t know what makes me happy. However, there is joy to be found.
The joy is in discovering what makes us happy. We don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But, little by little, we can discover more about how to care for ourselves again.
